Screen treatment for protagonist antagonist....
Story- Kid finally gets his own car and he's finally free but every time he wants to go somewhere really important his car dies, runs out of gas, or just doesn't even start.
Scene 1:
Kid is walking towards a girl at school who happens to be his crush, while walking towards her he stops and thinks about walking away (he is nervous), walks up to this girl who he has a crush on and attempts to ask her to the movies, mumbling and stuttering. She says "yes i thought you'd never ask!" they plan for friday at 9pm and decide just to meet at the movies
Scene 2:
Kid runs up to his friend in complete excitement and amazement "dude she said yes!!!!" in shock his friend doesn't believe him at first. The kids friend says "this is your one chance don't screw up!"
Scene 3:
Shot of someone crossing off days on a calender and having friday circled with a bunch of smily faces and hearts on it...
Scene 4:
Kid is in his room deciding what to wear and trying on clothes, he looks at his watch and realizes he's running a couple minutes late and runs out, shot of him running to his car and getting in. He gets in his car and puts the key in ignition, turn key only to realize his car is not starting, after trying a couple more times he gets out of his car and takes of running......
Scene 5:
Kid makes it to date all sweaty and says to the girl "im ready." the girl then says "the movie started 10 minutes ago" slaps the kid and walks away
Scene 6:
couple weeks later.....Kid is on the phone with his friend talking about going to get the new call of duty at midnight, both kids agree to meet up at the store at midnight, the kid goes gets into his car and starts to drive.....about half way down the street he runs out of gas and decides to just push the rest of the way.....
Scene 7:
kid gets a call that tells him that his grandpa is in the hospital he gets up from watching tv and sprints out to his car he goes to turn it on and again it doesnt start, almost in tears he keeps trying but no luck, he gets out walks to the front of the car and collapses on the hood banging on it asking "why me?" the car starts....
Jacob,
ReplyDeleteI love it. I especially like the way you describe the movie at the beginning: "a kid finally gets his first car." Unfortunately, that point never gets made during the movie. Perhaps you could add it to scene 4... the way I see it (and you can imagine it differently) is that he realizes he's late and his dad gives him the keys. Dad gives him a lecture about the importance of having a first car, about freedom, about responsibility. He says "yeah yeah, I'm late dad" and runs out.
That makes your ending more powerful when he finally realizes he needs the car to do something important and then it starts for him.
Good work.